Is where I am exactly where I'm meant to be?

I've been trying to get on with lifea bit more over the past couple of weeks.  I've tried to 'enjoy' where Iam at the moment believing that this is where I'm meant to be right now andhave been trying to work out what that looks like.  The truth is that thisisn't where I want to be and sometimes it becomes incredibly difficult to seeany good in what's going on at the moment.  I often find myself saying'there's good days and bad days' and truthfully the good days are getting morebut there have been an awful lot of bad days recently too.  Emilie hasleft such a gap in our lives and it's really difficult to work out how thingslook now.  Sometimes I feel like the world is carrying on around me andI'm stuck in a state of limbo watching it all go on but being unable to moveforward myself.  I'm still clinging onto the hope that the seasons willchange soon and things will begin to look up for us but in all honesty, witheach day that goes by, my hope seems to diminish and I feel lower than the daybefore.  

I guess I'm wondering if this is where I'm meant to be at themoment how can I make the best of it?  How can I prove that I'm notdefeated and I'm keeping going?  How can I use what's happened to me forgood?  How can I trust that God knows what he's doing and has a plan forme when everyone else around me seem to be getting their rewards and I'm stillstuck in the place I was 2 years ago having taken 2 steps forward and 100 back? I really believe that God has a plan for me but the length of time I amwaiting for it to come to fruition is intimidating me and I know thatI'm becoming disillusioned.  

I have been listening to this song alot recently.  It is froman album called 'Beauty Will Rise' that a friend recommended to me.  Ilove the lyrics and it is becoming my prayer.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bco4kmBHEKQ 

We planted the seed while the tears of our grief soaked theground
The sky lost its’ sun and the world lost its’green to lifeless brown
Now the chill in the wind has turned the Earthhard as stone
And silent the seed lies beneath ice and snow
And my heart’s heavy now, but I’m not letting go
Of this hope I have that tells me

(Chorus)
Spring is coming, Spring is coming
And all we’ve been hoping and longing for
Soon will appear
Spring is coming, Spring is coming
It won’t be long now
It’s just about here

Hear the birds start to sing
Feel the life in the breeze
Watch the ice melt away
The kids are coming out to play
Feel the sun on your skin
Growing strong and warm again
Watch the ground
There’s something moving
Something is breaking through
New life is breaking through

Repeat Chorus

Spring is coming (Out of these ashes beauty willrise)
Spring is coming (Sorrow will be turned to joy)
All we’ve been hoping and longing for (All we’vehoped for)
Soon will appear (soon will appear)
Spring is coming (Out of the darkness beautywill shine)
Spring is coming (All Earth and Heaven rejoice)
It won’t be long now (Spring is coming soon)
It’s just about here (Spring is coming soon)

A friend told me that she can't wait until we are able tosit, as a group of friends, and pass my baby around - for me to show him/heroff.  I can't wait until this time either but at the moment it seems asfar from reach as it is possible for something to be.  I can't wait forthis season to change and for new life to break through in our pain.  Ican't wait until I can look back and say 'it was all worth it, I have noregrets and this is the perfect timing for this to happen in our lives'. I just hope that God's perfect timing isn't too far away.....