Or maybe it's not the weather at all? I attended a conference at the weekend. The title was 'what's your story?' I was absolutely dreading it and even entertained the idea of not going at all. I don't know why. Was I scared of breaking down, of not being able to hold it together or of being completely closed and angry and getting nothing from it. I'm not sure but I really didn't want to go.
I have amazing friends who I spoke to about my concerns and I knew that I could trust them completely and not have to worry about being honest in front of them. This is something I often worry about - I worry that my pain will make other people uncomfortable and they'll isolate themselves from me. This didn't happen though.
One of the speakers at the conference had lost a baby boy in very similar circumstances to Emilie's death. Her story and the way she dealt with things had a massive impact on me and something has clicked in me this week. I am still desperate for a baby. I still want to be pregnant now and pray for a miracle but I feel strangely at peace with the way things are at the moment.
I'm thankful for my amazing friends, for my husband and beautiful little boy and for this gorgeous weather. I'm thankful for all the amazing people God's put in my life to support me through this!
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